this is it the A P O C A L Y P S E
- Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
- Me: *turns up music*
- Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
- Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
- Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
- Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
- Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
- Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
- Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
- Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
- Lady cop: I can make that happen.
- Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
- Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
- Entire train: *applauds*
story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says
‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’
and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’
and she just stared at me for a moment and said
‘oh ok. ‘
and we just continued watching
and thats how i came out to my mother
Fucking A Star.
what's the craziest thing you've ever done?
i got accused of stealing a pair of shoes once and then got sent to this camp where i had to dig holes to build character as my punishment and while i was there i ran away in search for my friend who also ran away and broke my family’s curse
I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.
omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven
In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy.
polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.
this week on: britan thinks its special
This week on america copies everything from Britain.
HOLD THE FUCK UP
Found this little guy outside of a Mexican restaurant last night. His name is Queso
THAT THING LOOKS LIKE A DEMON, WHY WOULD YOU NAME HIM AFTER CHEESE?
IT IS OBVIOUSLY A BLACK FLOOF AND HAS/WILL NEVER HURT A SOUL. DID YOU EVEN LOOK AT IT?!???!